Gino Meriano has been campaigning for gay rights for many years and aside from running Pink Weddings, also organises fabulous Gay Wedding Shows. This is the first part of our interview with him, enjoy!
The Wedding Organizer: Let's talk about Pink Weddings and your campaigning for gay rights. What is Pink Weddings?
Gino Meriano: Pink Weddings is a social enterprise designed to help couples with their wedding planning – both gay and straight couples. People can get completely stressed out about their wedding, and for gay couples it can be even more stressful, so Pink Weddings provides someone to talk to and get help with the planning. We are in touch with a wide network of gay-friendly suppliers, so that's one of the most obvious ways we help.
We give guidance and pricing structures – a couple might say "we've got x thousand pounds in the budget and, x number of guests, what can we have?" Most is achievable with an open mind, we help couples get want they want.
The Wedding Organizer: And what about the gay rights campaigning?
Gino Meriano: Well I sort of fell into gay rights… I wanted something for my partner and I in 2000 – 2001 to help celebrate our partnership, and he said, why not build a website, so we did. That was the start of it all.
When the Civil Partnership bill came in, I was brought in as consultant. Soon after the bill became law, Bromley Register Office said that it wasn't going to offer civil partnership ceremonies. People in the area e-mailed me, I couldn't stand it and put a march on, after arranging it with the police and town hall. Bromley overturned their decision after we brought the high street to a stand still and from that day on I suppose I was a gay rights campaigner
The Wedding Organizer: How would you describe yourself?
Gino Meriano: Tired! No: a gay rights campaigner for same-sex families.
The Wedding Organizer: Why do you feel a company dedicated to helping gay couples plan their wedding is needed?
Gino Meriano: I'm so glad you ask that, because there are some people who can't believe that it is needed, but homophobia is still there, even after all these years of civil partnership ceremonies, and it is definitely present in the traditional wedding industry. I've been to straight wedding fayres and exhibited as Pink Weddings, the abuse from exhibitors and visitors was incredible.
The Wedding Organizer: I interviewed couples at one of your fayres years ago Gino and I was shocked at some of the stories they told me about being turned away by wedding suppliers.
Gino Meriano: It's incredible, isn't it? People are still not being as inclusive as they could. I see it when I go with a gay man to see a potential venue, there's inevitably the "where's the bride?" question. When the partner says "I'm gay" you see how their face changes – that homophobia is still there.
I also see it on brochures and promotional material released by wedding companies. Some venues are not even prepared to put up "civil partnership" on a post advertising their wedding ceremony rooms.
But I should add that there are people out there who are really getting it right; the brochure produced by Cheshire East Register Office for example. It's the best brochure I've seen in a long time. I literally bow down to them! It's so classy, so right, all couples are represented in it. I was blown away when I saw it for the first time.
The Wedding Organizer: Aside from the acceptance and being treated with the same courtesy as any customer should be, do gay couples have any particular needs when it comes to a venue for example?
Gino Meriano: For some couples; they may not be comfortable being overlooked by members of the public for the reasons we've just discussed. Having photos outside can be an issue for them, when the photographer asks them to hold hands and kiss for example. For people who have these worries, we help them to find a venue that's exclusive, in which the grounds are theirs for the whole time without other people around.
The Wedding Organizer: Do people get hung up on the language used? I knew a gay couple who refused to let people call their ceremony a 'wedding'.
Gino Meriano: In the beginning it was confusing, no-one knew whether to say marriage, Civil Partnership, wedding – it was all up in the air. 90% of the time people say "I'm getting married to my partner next year" because that language is bred into you, society dictates marriage.
There is a sticking point about the word marriage because of the legal definition of it being a union between a man and a woman, and I think about 1% of people get wound up about its colloquial use.
Wedding venues and advertisers etc can put "marriage and civil partnerships" or just refer to "weddings" and that will incorporate everyone without putting any noses out of joint. The use of the word "wedding" seems fine now.
Over the years I've loosened up about this too. It makes me think about why we called ourselves Pink Weddings: Pink was the political aspect and 'Weddings' because that is the event. You know, I've even written to the Oxford Dictionary to ask them to put Civil Partnership under 'wedding' and not 'marriage' so language is important, but less confusing than it once was.
Coming up in part two…
In the next part of the interview, Gino talks about some amazing wedding planning experiences and give lots of advice to couples planning a gay wedding. Watch this space!
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I have read your article with great interest – why must single sex partnerships be treated any differently – they are still couples who care about each other deeply so why shouldn't they have the day of their lives to share with their family and friends.
I run a venue and I am proud to say my staff and myself are completely open minded about the whole single sex partnership issue and would be proud to make every couple feel their day was going to be unforgettable.
Best of luck with all your endevours and perhaps one day the whole world will open its mind and respect the needs and wishes of others.