Even the most confident people can turn to jelly when it comes to public speaking, and that's only amplified at a wedding, so if you're feeling nervous, you're not alone! Rest assured that there are practical steps you can take to prepare yourself and help the other speakers.
Who gives the speeches at a gay wedding?
In short: whoever you want to! If both you and your partner want to make a speech, go ahead; when it comes to gay weddings there are no hard and fast rules to wrestle with.
If you are having more than four speeches (i.e. both partners, best man or woman, fathers, mothers) then you might want to consider splitting them over the meal so people don’t have to sit and listen for a long time. The timing is entirely up to you, as is the order – you may want to let the most nervous speaker make their speech first so they can relax and enjoy the rest of the day. Before the meal, spread throughout, before the cutting of the cake, all are viable opportunities – the only thing you need is for everyone to be gathered together.
Practical matters to make your speeches go smoothly
Check if the venue has a microphone and that all the speakers have some water too – people tend to get a dry mouth when nervous. If you have arranged a chreche for the children of guests, you should let them know when the speeches are so the youngsters can be whisked away if you want them to be; it reduces the chance of a crying baby throwing you off your stride.
Give people who will be making a speech plenty of advance notice, and make sure they are happy to speak, there's nothing worse than discovering that they have a phobia of public speaking on the day before the wedding!
General speech making advice
Don't feel that you have to speak for a long time. No speech should last more than ten minutes, otherwise people will start to fidget. Make some notes just in case the nerves get to you on the day and practise it on someone else first if you are very nervous. Don't forget to slow down when you're speaking, and if you can bear it, make eye-contact with people as you talk.
—
This is an excerpt from the e-book, to read the extra bits about what is covered in the speeches (like who thanks who), simply download your free copy of the Gay Wedding Organizer e-book here.
Over to you!
Who will be making speeches at your wedding? Is there anything you're worried about, or need help with? If so, be brave and let us know in the comments so we can help!
