We had a lovely comment on the post about wedding themes, asking for help on choosing a theme, so I decided to write a post in response.
I've been to many, many weddings in recent years, both straight and gay, as I'm in that phase of my life when all of my friends (and I!) have been pairing off and tying the knot. Thinking over all those weddings that I've personally attended, there have been themes ranging from a simple colour theme through to the groom being dressed in a hussar's uniform. But you know what? The ones that worked the best weren't the most fashionable, nor the most cleverly executed. No, the most memorable and successful wedding themes really expressed the couple.
An example of a wedding theme that worked
Let me give you an example (this is for a straight couple but bear with me). Two friends of mine were getting married, she was from a Hindu Gujurati background, he was from a Christian background, but neither of them came from strongly practising religious families. They decided to have two weddings, one was a Hindu Gujurati ceremony which I think was one of the best weddings I've ever been to, and the second was a civil ceremony.
What about the theme? They came up with a picture that ran as a motif throughout both; a little oil lamp on the one side, a candle on the other, with the smoke winding up from both of them entwining in the middle – a beautifully expressed metaphor for the union of their different backgrounds and families. The motif was in a deep red on a cream background, and the bride's sari at the first ceremony was the same colour, with her wedding dress for the civil ceremony being cream with a red accent. Every little detail throughout both weddings picked up on this theme of the two symbols and the red and cream colour. At the civil ceremony there was an ice sculpture of the motif at the centre of the evening buffet.
Why did that wedding theme work? Because it was meaningful, simple and beautifully expressed.
Don't be tempted to have a wild wedding theme for the sake of it
I've spoken to many gay couples planning their weddings and something several said was that they almost felt pressured to have something bold and grand, a bit like a Mardi Gras theme, and were stressed because it wasn't them. I had a conversation like this at a gay wedding fayre a couple of years ago next to a giant pink swan-shaped carriage. Very 'Big Gay Al' but not for all gay couples – and that is absolutely fine! If you are flamboyant and larger than life all the time (several of my friends are!) then having a flamboyant and larger than life wedding theme would fit – in fact, your friends might feel a bit worried if your wedding day was straight laced and conservative! But if you are normally quiet and unassuming, turning up in a giant pink swan would make you feel awkward and make the wedding theme seem like a play in which you'd been poorly cast.
The wedding theme should express you as a couple
If you both have a favourite colour, then use that as your colour motif. If both of you have a common interest or hobby, maybe that could inform your theme – and that is exactly the kind of wedding theme that your guests will love, because it will make them think of you.
Perhaps you have a funny story about how you met, or a place that's special to you. That could form the wedding theme's focus – all you need to do is find a simple idea to build a theme around – once you have that in place, then the rest is easy; it's just a matter of picking things to match.
It may be that you see a wedding invitation design that inspires you, it could be a favourite film that you both share or a love of a particular historical era. These could create a theme ranging from the subtle use of a vintage motif right through to influencing what you wear, such as vintage wedding outfits.
This is what choosing a wedding theme boils down to:
• Choose something that you both genuinely love as the initial focus for your theme, something as simple as a colour, or a hobby, a favourite era etc
• A very simple idea can grow into a theme echoed throughout the wedding
• Don't be tempted away from your genuine preferences by trends and fashion fads
• Have a theme as grand or as subtle as you feel comfortable to be
Remember; it's your day.
If there is still something you're worried about regarding wedding themes that I haven't covered here, simply leave a note in the comments below.
