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Joe's Diary: Organising The Ceremony

It still hasn't really sunk in that Pete finally proposed, but I thought I'd better start thinking about the kind of wedding we could have. The only thing we have decided upon so far is that we want it to be big, with all the trimmings of any traditional wedding, we've waited this long to be able to make it official, and we really want to go to town with it!

We first need to give formal notice that we intend to form a civil partnership, then this is publicised for fifteen days by the registration authority before the actual registration can take place, costing ?30 for each of us. We'll need to take documentary evidence of our name, age and nationality, ideally in the form of a passport. We will also be asked to provide evidence of our address and to indicate where we intend to register the civil partnership and that if we've had a civil partnership or marriage they've been terminated.

Once the notice has been given, after the initial fifteen days it is valid for a year. It should cost about ?40 to get it registered at a Register Office. We can say some words before the paperwork is signed, but as with all civil ceremonies there cannot be any religious content or hymns. (There are several other procedures and separate provisions, but they don't apply to us. They include procedures for housebound people, people detained under the Mental Health Act or under the Prison Act or where one partner is seriously ill, and not expected to recover.)

If we don't want the Register Office, we can have a civil ceremony that incorporates the legalities at any of the premises that have a licence to conduct civil ceremonies. There can still be readings, songs etc, as long as they're not religious.

Another option is to get the legal bit done at the register office the day before with the minimum two people required as witnesses, and then have a big do the next day, with rings, vows and the whole caboodle.     

My cousin did it this way with her ceremony conducted by a humanist celebrant and she's given me their contact details ? I've stuck them on the fridge so I don't lose them. He was from the British Humanist Association, she said they were a great help, really supportive and very experienced at helping couples design the ceremony that they want to have. The celebrant can come to our house to discuss it all with us and give suggestions and advice. The fee was very reasonable but is connected to their travel expenses so I'll have to ask when I call.

Our imagination is the limit. If we get the legal bits done the day before, and we won't have to worry about getting a registrar to be present. Some kind of theme would certainly make the day memorable for everyone but it would be a lot of work because all of the different aspects of the day would have to fit in. Whilst I love the idea of shaping every detail to fit a theme, there's no point having some kind of renaissance extravaganza if the best reception venue has 1960's architecture. And what about the clothes for the wedding party and guests - would we make them all dress up too? Whilst I might love the thought of our guests in costume wandering around, in reality it may just not work for a wedding with as many guests as we will be having.

I'll see what Pete thinks about it all. Knowing him he'll want us to get married whilst skydiving or something mad!