Joe's Diary: Finding Katie's Wedding Gown

Had a fabulous day today, though it has made me even more glad that I'm a man! It started with Katie coming over with her copy of the Wedding Organizer and a big cake. She's marrying Sarah in nine months time and having just as grand a day as us. She was desperate for someone to help her choose a dress and thought of me... not sure why. Anyway, we spent a couple of hours on the internet looking at different dress designs (there are hundreds of sites out there and it doesn't cost a penny). We picked out styles that she liked and printed them out to paste into her notebook. Wedding gowns are rather strange in that there are so many different styles that are 'in fashion' at once, we were spoilt for choice! One thing for certain though, tea and cake is a critical part of the process.


Armed with said notebook we went to one of the big bridal gown shops in town. She made an appointment there last week having found them in her Wedding Organizer - it's the best thing to do as then they can guarantee that one of the staff are available to give their full attention, and it is absolutely essential on a Saturday when every other bride in the area is off work too! She was a bit nervous, bless her, she said that all she could think about at first was how it's certainly the most she'll ever spend on a dress, for the most important day of her life, and what if Sarah doesn't like it! But the assistant at the shop was so wonderful. She looked at the pictures, looked at Katie, and then took her round all of the gowns, picking out ones she thought might be good and also several that neither of us would have dreamed of! I encouraged her to try them all when she looked doubtful, which I'm so glad I did as we were pleasantly surprised by several of the 'risky' ones. Keeping an open mind in that situation is so important.


It was an education, as there's quite a lot to bear in mind in terms of finding the right dress. Firstly shape; there are certain styles that suit certain body shapes. Full skirts and tailored bodices seem to be good for people like Katie with bigger hips but a smaller waist as the fullness of the skirt hides chunky thighs and bottoms. Katie had a good chat with the assistant about it as they are having three bridesmaids with completely different shapes. Mandy is tall and thin which suits softer, elegant lines and wide or scooped necklines. Natalie, being very petite would suit something in an A-line, or a design with princess seams - nothing to cut her off at the waist and make her look smaller. Nicola has got quite a boyish figure, with a small bust and quite a thick waist. She'll look good in an Empire line apparently, preferably one with some fabric gathered over the bust to make it look like there's more there and balance her out! There were jackets with some dresses to cover up any arm crimes, and short bolero style jackets are back in, accentuating slender waists and detracting from small busts too. Hmmm, seems I did learn something today! The assistants at these shops know all the tricks so it really pays to listen to them. If it were a winter wedding I know Katie would look fabulous in a velvet coat or cloak - there was a deep red one that almost made her change the date!


Another factor was colour. It doesn't have to be white, we must have said that twenty times over the cake, and we were right. There are many different colours and shades available, getting the one right for her skin tone was worth the effort. Again, the assistant was brilliant, and she even got some samples of the different types of white (yes, there's more than one!) and held them against her to show which ones were best. Some colours drained her skin, whilst others made her seem even healthier, and it seems that there are few women who can carry off the pure 'diamond white' fabrics.


The type of fabric needed to be considered too in light of the month of the wedding. Katie's is bang in the middle of summer, so she was eager to look at silks, muslin and other lighter fabrics, whereas if it were earlier in the year where the weather is less predictable a back up plan such as a matching wrap or jacket would be a good idea. Yet again the brocades and velvets of the winter dresses were tempting but in the middle of August even I could see that wouldn't be a good idea.


Comfort was also important. I warned her that whilst she wants to look her best, she doesn't want to be dying after ten minutes. When she'd narrowed the dresses down, she spent some time walking around and sitting down too just to be sure. She'd been reluctant to try on strapless bodices, thinking that she'd be pulling it up all day or that she'd 'fall' out of it (we had a good laugh about that!). But the amount of structure in these bodices really put her mind at rest - if it's fitted properly, it should stay where she wants it.


Size was a topic of debate as Katie tends to lose weight when nervous (a stone before her accountancy exams), so we both think she might be smaller on the day than she is now. The assistant reassured her that they can do adjustments and there'll be a couple of fittings in the lead up to the day. They have a priced package that incorporates a certain number of fittings, and this can be different depending on the dress (i.e. if it has a wide skirt with a hem that goes on forever!) so she'll need to be sure to get specific details for whichever dress she chooses.


I took the digital camera so I could take pictures of her favourite ones so I must e-mail them to her tonight. All the way home in the car she was talking about underwear which was a bit strange, but she was trying to remember that when she makes her final choice she needs to get the underwear as soon as possible. Apparently it's best to have the real underwear on at the time of the fittings, as the bra could change her shape in important ways when dealing with very fitted gowns. With some bodices she won't need a bra, but there will still be a suspender belt and knickers and it will be good to know that neither of them show at a fitting rather than on the wedding morning! I learnt more than I really wanted too! I suppose it is practical as she'll have time to change it all if it's uncomfortable with the dress. The height of the shoes is important too so she'll also need to have those for the fittings so the hem is the right length. She plans to wear them around the house a bit before the day too, only when Sarah is out though!


One of the great things about going to this specialist shop was that they also had all the matching veils and accessories. It was really useful being able to try the whole thing on at once. Of course, it doesn't mean she can't look elsewhere (there are some amazing tiara specialists out there), but it was useful to see what type of veil goes with each dress. With some of them the shade may be hard to match so getting the matching one might be the best option.


The jury is still out on what to put on her head. There are so many choices: tiara, veil, both together, nothing, fresh flowers or even a hat! She's going to talk to the florist about the flowers, after all, the tiny fresh roses that my friend Sally had in her hair at her wedding last year looked gorgeous. I guess it depends on the dress she chooses - some seemed to suit a grand veil whilst some of the more simple ones might be drowned out by one.


She's going to look at a couple of other shops, no need to rush such a big decision, and I've been recruited for those trips too. Katie knows someone who had their dress made by a designer dressmaker and she said it was amazing, so she's going to look into that. I like the sound of that, at least she could be certain the design is individual and has all of the bits she wants in the dress. Again, the portfolio will be a good starting point, and  reports from other brides too.


I'm going to e-mail those photos to her and then think about what I am going to wear for my day. Hmm... maybe more cake is needed.


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