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Joe's Diary: Organising The Ceremony

I'll see what Pete thinks about it all. Knowing him he'll want us to get married whilst skydiving or something mad!
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Joe's Diary: The Speeches

Pete is quietly in denial about this and Mark is having kittens, so I thought I'd draft out something to help them. I need to check if the venue has a microphone and that all the speakers have some water too - Pete in particular gets a dry mouth when nervous. I'm glad we're getting the creche, then the ankle nippers (bless them) won't cry during the speeches. I can't do anything about hecklers though...

We are both going to give speeches, and as there is no tradition attached we can do them in any order, and include anything we like! Katie and Sarah are doing the same at their reception. The timing of the speeches is also quite flexible. We could have them before the meal so the speakers can relax (and so they're not too tipsy!), throughout the meal (nice to space them out) or after the meal before the cake is cut. I'll see what Pete would prefer.

Ok, now to draft out my notes:

General speech making advice

Don't feel that you have to speak for a long time. No speech should last more than ten minutes, otherwise people will start to fidget. Make some notes just in case the nerves get to you on the day and practise it on someone else first if you are very nervous. Don't forget to slow down when you're speaking, and if you can bear it, make eye-contact with people as you talk.

Grooms (to share between Pete and I)

Traditionally the groom does lots of thanking, and we'll have a lot to do so we'll split that between us. We need to call up the attendants to receive their gifts from us. All good grooms say how lovely their wife looks - I don't see why we can't say the same about our respective partner!

Best Man (Mark)

Tradition dictates that you respond on behalf of the attendants and read messages from those that can't attend. Informal tradition invites you to ritually humiliate the groom with tales of drunken debauchery, but seeing as there are effectively two grooms on our day don't feel you have to go into lots of detail or we'll be there all day! Telegrams are long gone but if we get any e-mails from people who can't attend we'll pass them on to you. I think Pete's great-grandfather is sending a video message so you need to introduce that (I have arranged a TV with the venue).